


Through sickness and in health

by writingdesire123



Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-15 12:50:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 16,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16063523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingdesire123/pseuds/writingdesire123
Summary: Nicky Nichols is living on her last legs of life. With only one hope and not much time, her and Lorna are determined to make the most of their time together.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this on a different site under a different name so if it does sound familiar, that’s where it will be from.

Nicky entered Red's run down car, slumping down on the front passenger seat. Red opened the drivers seat door and then sat down too, shutting the door as she climbed in. They sat in silence for a moment before Red started the car and began to drive away, navigating her way around the hospital car park. 

"At least nothing has gotten any worse, right?" asked Red optimistically, not really looking for a reply. Nicky just grunted a response, which was more than Red had expected. They drove in silence again. As time passed the silence caused Red to feel anxious. She knew her girl was seriously ill but up until recently she had managed to keep her spirits high. 

"Marka is home today so you can probably just drop me off there,” Nicky offered in a dull tone. 

"Are you sure? You know I don't mind you staying with me," challenged Red. She suddenly wished it was still silent. Red liked it when Nicky stayed with her, she knew her girl was being looked after then. 

"Yeah,” replied Nicky simply, clearly she didn't have enough energy to get into a lengthy conversation. "Anyway I am supposed to be taking Lorna to that new diner that opened a couple of weeks ago, so I will probably just sleep until then." 

"Are you sure you don't want to cancel? You don't look well." 

"Do I ever?" Red didn't laugh at Nicky's poor attempt to make light of a crappy situation. Silence fell in the car once again. 

 

Twenty minutes later, Red dropped Nicky off. She kissed Nicky on the cheek. 

"I love you my girl." 

"I love you too ma." 

"Do you want me to take you to your appointment on Thursday?" 

"Please,” Nicky replied exiting the car. As she wondered up the long driveway, that she would never make Red drive all the way up, she began to realise just how tired she really was. She felt a headache coming on. Great, another pain to add to her list. Still walking up the driveway, she checked her watch. She had five hours until she was supposed to meet Lorna. She decided she would sleep for the next four hours and then get ready. 

As she pushed the large front door open to her lavish house she heard talking in the kitchen and dining room. She walked in and saw her Mum along with around twenty other people in suits and expensive looking dresses drinking champagne. This must be another one of her Mother's party's. She noticed her brother and sister standing next to her Mother being shown around. They were always the golden children. Her brother, Matthew, was five years older than her and a homicide detective whilst her sister, Arianna, was three years older than her and currently at law school. Nicky had a fairly good relationship with her siblings although they were never really around much anymore. In the whole seventeen years of Nicky's life she never really felt like she fit in with the Nichols family. Matthew and Arianna shared the same Father who left before Nicky was born. They were very much planned and it was highly celebrated when they were born. Nicky, on the other hand, was simply made during a one night stand. She had never met her Father. Nicky wasn't planned and was just another inconvenience in Marka Nichols's life. Nicky had been born with heart disease and had been in and out of hospital for the first ten years of her life. Now however her heart disease had become more serious and was in need of a new heart. 

"Oh Nicole, I didn't know you were here tonight," Marka stated simply. 

"Well I do live here so..." she began, not really knowing how to finish. Sensing the tension rising Matthew began to speak. 

"How was your appointment?" he asked with genuine concern. 

"The usual," she answered heading towards the door which held the staircase. 

"Are you not staying?" asked Arianna. 

"Nah. I'm going to have a lay down. I'm exhausted." 

"Alright. I'll see you later." 

"Yeah." She dragged her tired, frail body up the dark oak staircase. Upon entering her large bedroom she slumped down on her queen sized bed. Before falling asleep she set an alarm on her phone to wake her when it was time to go out.

***** 

Four hours later her alarm woke her. She grumbled, not wanting to be woken from her slumber. She rubbed her aching heart taking a deep breath. She stopped her alarm from ringing and checked the time. She had an hour before she was supposed to meet Lorna. She thought about cancelling her plans with her but she knew how much Lorna was looking forward to this, so she didn't. 

Nicky jumped into the warm shower letting the hot water fall down her body. Her hair was thrown up into a messy bun to avoid her hair getting wet. She scrubbed her body with a flannel covered in a lime scented shower gel. Soon enough she stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in a long white towel. She left the bathroom and went back into her bedroom. She sat down on her bed allowing herself to air dry.

After about three minutes she was dry and went into her walk in closet to find something to wear. She picked out a white, short sleeved shirt and some skinny back jeans. After putting them on she went over to her dresser and applied a small amount of makeup. She attempted to tame her wild hair and after a long battle, it looked just about presentable. She checked the time. She had about twenty minutes. She grabbed her favourite pair of shoes and spritzed herself with some expensive perfume. As she went back downstairs, she could still hear the chatter from her Mother's party. She sighed. 

She attempted to weave her way through the kitchen, attempting to avoid all conversation with her Mother's stuck up friends. 

"Nicky!" shouted her brother walking over to her. She looked over. 

"Yeah?" 

"Are you going out?" 

"Yeah, I'm meeting Lorna." 

"Are you coming back." 

"Yep,” she said. Getting her coat and putting it on. "Will I see you later?" She asked, wondering whether he will still be there when she got back. 

"I plan to be here until Friday." 

"I'll see you later then,” she said, leaving. 

She climbed into her black Buick Enclave and started the engine. She drove down the long drive, turning up the radio. 

 

She parked her car in the carpark and went into the diner looking around for Lorna. She saw her sat in a booth in the corner. She walked over and smiled when she saw her. Lorna's dark hair was curled as it usually was and she was wearing her usual red lipstick. She was wearing a cute white dress with short brown boots. 

"Look at you,” admired Nicky whilst Lorna stood up and hugged her. After holding each other for about ten seconds Nicky kissed Lorna on the cheek and sat back down on the opposite side. 

"How are you?" asked Lorna. 

"I'm good," lied Nicky. 

"Are you sure, you look a little pale?" 

"I'm just tired. Anyway what are you eating?" Lorna scanned the menu for a moment longer before replying. 

"I'm thinking about the lasagne. What about you?" Nicky laughed. 

"Wow there's a surprise." They both laughed. "I'm thinking about the burger." 

"Wow there's a surprise," mimicked Lorna. Once again they both laugh. 

*****

Two hours later the couple were preparing to leave after a very enjoyable evening. 

"Does your bed need someone extra in it tonight?" Asked Lorna, suggesting that she wanted to go home with Nicky. 

"Always." 

 

When they arrived home Nicky led Lorna upstairs and into her bedroom. Nicky changed into some short pyjamas as Lorna got some from a draw that was designated to her for when she stayed over as she so often did. Nicky pulled the duvet back and climbed into bed. Thirty seconds later Lorna climbed in next to Nicky. Nicky put her arm out and Lorna snuggled in. Nicky kissed her on the head whilst pulling the duvet up around their armpits. 

"I love you,” whispered Lorna. 

"I love you too."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and let me know what you think!

The following morning Nicky woke up to Lorna still laying in her arms. She smiled as she looked at the smaller brunette and kissed her on the head before attempting to get out of bed. Succeeding, she left her bedroom as quietly as she could to avoid waking a sleeping Lorna. 

Upon entering the black and white themed kitchen she began to brew a pot of coffee. After it had finished, she poured herself a mug and sat down at the kitchen island. She took a long sip. She felt like she couldn't function without her daily dose of caffeine. There was a shuffling noise coming from the door way. She sighed as her Mother entered. 

"Good morning Nicole," she said as she poured herself some coffee and leaned against the counter. 

"Morning." As she said this, to her relief, Lorna walked in rubbing her tired eyes as she slumped down on the chair next to Nicky. 

"Morning Happy," greeted Nicky. "Coffee?" She asked, knowing her girlfriend was also in need for her daily dose of caffeine. Lorna smiled brightly and nodded enthusiastically. Nicky pushed herself up from the stool and grunted slightly as she did so. 

"Are you okay?" asked Lorna panicked. Nicky nodded, trying to hide her pained expression. She took a couple of seconds before she went back over to the coffee pot and poured her girlfriend a mug.

During the interaction Marka had began to leave the kitchen but she turned around in order to address her daughter once more. 

"Oh by the way Nicole, I am going away for two weeks with Paolo. I think Arianna is going back to collage later but Matthew is going to be here a while longer," She informed her as she left, not waiting for a reply. When she left Nicky looked back at Lorna and rolled her eyes. Carrying the freshly poured mug of coffee back she placed it in front of Lorna. 

"Thanks," She said, suddenly brightening up at the sight of the mug. The two sat in silence for a minute, both sipping their coffee. 

"So what are your plans for today then?" asked Lorna.

"Probably meet up with Alex for a bit. You?" 

"Oh it's Franny's birthday. We're all going out for a meal tonight at the Mexican. Which reminds me, do you want to come?" she asked, hopefully. 

"Well I don't want to intrude." 

"No it's okay, Franny wants you to come." 

"Alright then." she smiled. 

"I'll come back here at eight." Nicky nodded in response. "Well I'm going to get dressed then I better be going," she said as she got up and placed her empty mug by the counter. 

 

Lorna had been gone for several hours. Nicky had taken a nap, already exhausted. She rolled over and looked at her phone. She had five texts and seven missed calls from Alex. 

"Shit," she cursed, opening the messages. 

A - hey Nick, are we still on for later? 

A - Nicky? 

A - if you don't feel like going out it's fine, I get it. Maybe I could come to yours? 

A - Nicky are you okay? 

A - Nicky I'm worried. Please reply. 

Nicky quickly typed back a reply. 

N - sorry, I was sleeping. Give me ten minutes and I will be there. 

A - Dimitri's? 

N - of course! 

Nicky clicked her phone off and quickly got some shoes and went out to her car. Luckily she had showered and got dressed just after Lorna had left. She started her car and began the drive to the cafe to meet Alex. It was in walking distance but she chose to drive because these days she had no energy to do anything active. She remembered when she used to go jogging every morning with her friend Janae. Nicky missed having the energy to do simple things. 

*****

Deep in thought, Nicky arrived at Dimitri's and parked her car. She entered the cafe, instantly smelling the Russian treats. She arrived before Alex so she went over to the counter to order. 

"Hey Nicky," said Maxsim, one of Red's sons. Red and her husband, Dimitri, owned the place with their three sons helping out. Red and Dimitri lived in an apartment above the cafe where Nicky would stay when her mother was away. Nicky would insist she was fine on her own but Red would always persuade her to come, Nicky secretly liked staying with Red. Red had taken on the role of being her mother and her sons had become her brothers. Red had first met Nicky when she was eight and wondered into the cafe, looking for something to eat. The Russian had instantly felt her motherly instincts take over. 

"Hey Max," replied Nicky, whilst she looked through all of the different cakes and pastries. 

"What can I get for ya?" 

"Umm, two hot chocolates and two Vatrushkas please." 

"You know you order the same every time right?" he laughed whilst making the hot chocolates. 

"It's the only thing I know how to pronounce," she joked. He laughed again, harder this time. 

The two continued to talk for several minutes until Nicky saw Alex walk in. She said goodbye and went over to join her best friend. 

"Hey Stretch," greeted Nicky as she pushed the drink and pastry over to her best friend. 

"Hey Nichols." replied Alex, solemnly. Nicky sat down before taking a long drink from her glass. 

"What's up Vause?" 

"Piper," Alex grunted. 

"What's she done now?" asked Nicky, knowing what the blonde could be like. 

"I saw her kiss Larry." 

"Oh Alex I'm so sorry." 

"It's okay. I know what Piper is like. I should've listened to you. Never fall in love with a straight girl, right?"

"Look, if I know Piper, this time next week you will be back together. It's just how she is." 

"I guess. Anyway how are you and Lorna?" 

"Good," smiled Nicky. "We went out to that new Italian last night, then she stayed over. And tonight she wants me to go out with her and her family for her sisters birthday." 

"You two seem to be going good then?" 

"Yeah. We are." 

"And how are you?" Alex asked, her face turning serious. 

"I'm great," she replied, sarcastically. 

"How are you really?" 

"I don't know Vause. I have no energy, all I want to do is sleep. And whenever I move it feels like my heart is about burst out from my chest." 

"What have the doctors done?" 

"Just given me more pills."  

*****

Alex ended up having to drive Nicky home because she was so out of it. Alex helped a drowsy Nicky into bed and took her phone to let Lorna know Nicky wouldn't be able to make it.

N - Hey Lorna, it's Alex. Nicky isn't feeling well so she can't come tonight. She told me to say she's sorry and let Franny know happy birthday. I'll see you tomorrow. 

Alex put Nicky's phone down and looked over at her sleeping best friend. She couldn't believe how much she had deteriorated in the past year. She really hoped that Nicky could get a new heart soon. She switched her own phone on and message her Mum. 

A - Nicky's not feeling too good so I'm going to stay here with her tonight. Love you xx 

Alex climbed into the bed, the other side from Nicky and wrapped an arm around her best friend. She wasn't a religious person, but she did pray that Nicky would be okay.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave me a comment and let me know what you think. Enjoy!

"Nick," Alex whispered as she shook her best friend awake. It was only on the third attempt that Alex was successful. Nicky rolled over, laying on her back. She groaned. 

"Shit, Nicky are you okay? You look really pale," Alex asked panicked. Nicky grumbled several incoherent words before finally speaking more clearly. 

"Be sick," she informed Alex weakly. 

"Oh goodness. Okay," replied Alex, grabbing Nicky from her underarms and helping her to the toilet. Nicky fell to her knees and threw up into the toilet several times. With one hand, Alex was holding her hair back and with her other hand was rubbing Nicky's back. After dry heaving for a few minutes Nicky began to pull her self up. One standing, she felt dizzy and had the feeling like she was going to faint. Alex steadied her. 

"Lets get you back to bed," Alex offered, helping Nicky climb back into bed. She tucked Nicky in and felt her head. She flinched when she felt how hot it was. 

"I think your getting a fever. Let me get you a cold cloth," Alex said as she walked back into Nicky's bathroom. She run a clean flannel under the cold tap for a few moments before ringing it dry and going back to Nicky. She placed it on her head. 

"Do you want me to stay off school today Nicky?" 

"No. Go. I'll be okay." 

"Okay. But I want you to call me if there is anything wrong okay?" 

"Yeah," Nicky agreed, tiredly. 

"I'll get you a cold glass of water and then I better be off." 

Alex re entered Nicky's bedroom two minutes later and placed the glass of cold water on her bedside table. She looked over at Nicky and noticed she was asleep again. She kissed her softly on the forehead and left, pulling the door closed, hoping that her best friend was going to be okay.

*****

It was lunch time and Alex, Lorna, Janae and Poussey were all sitting at their usual table. Lorna was awaiting a text back from Nicky. 

"I'm getting worried about her. Maybe I should go check up on her?" said Lorna, looking over at Alex. 

"Give the poor girl a chance Lorna. You messaged her like ten minutes ago. She's probably just asleep." 

"I know, but I just worry about her. Especially after you told be what she was like this morning." 

"How you ask Red to pop in and check on her," suggest Janae, with corn on the cob falling from her mouth. 

"Please," begged Lorna. 

"I'll send her a text now," agreed Alex pulling her phone out.  

A - Hey Red. I was just wondering if you could check on Nicky if you have time. It's just Lorna is worrying about her. I'm sure it's nothing but you know what she's like. 

It was only a few seconds before Red replied. 

R - Thank you for letting me know. I will go and see her now. 

*****

Using her own key, Red pushed open the door to enter the Nichols house. 

"Nicky!" Red called. No reply. Red walked up the grande stairs and entered her room. Her heart wrenched at the sight in front of her. Nicky was passed out, wrapped in her duvet, with a fresh sheen of sweat covering her all over. Nicky's face was contorted with pain. As Red listened clearly, she could her the girl groaning in her sleep. 

"Oh honey," Red cooed as she approached the girl. She perched on the bed next to her and felt it head. She didn't expect her head to be as hot as it was. She instantly felt worried. She reached for the cloth that had fallen off her head. She walked into Nicky's ensuite, let the cloth soak in the cold water for a minute before drying it off and placing it on Nicky's head. Nicky groaned as she began to stir. 

"Nicky?" questioned Red. 

"Ma," Nicky stated more than asked.

"Come on honey. I'm taking you to mine," Nicky didn't have the energy to argue as Red helped her out of bed and pulled her into her side, allowing Nicky to put all her onto her. Red helped Nicky out to her car and gently placed her on the passenger seat in the run down motor. She strapped her in and then went round to the drivers seat and got in herself. 

"Oh honey you look so pale," when Nicky didn't reply Red looked over and noticed she was asleep. Red sighed feeling sorry her girl. She knew that Nicky had been rather ill when she was younger but she had seemed fine as she grew older. It had only been in the past few years that Nicky had begun to deteriorate and Red dreaded to think about how it would end. 

Without realising, Red had reached her apartment. She helped Nicky out of the car and led her to the stairway to her apartment. Red assisted Nicky with getting into her designated bed and tucking her in. 

"I'm going to get you a nice cold glass of water, and another cool cloth. I'll be back in a moment honey." 

"Thanks Ma," Nicky croaked. 

Several minutes later Red re entered and placed the glass next to her and the cloth on her head. She began to stroke her head. Twirling her wild hair around her finger. Just as Red thought Nicky had gone to sleep she attempted to get up, however Nicky gently tugged at her sleeve pulling her back down. 

"Stay with me Mummy," she begged, barely awake. 

"Of course honey," Red replied as she kissed her forehead. Red moved to the other end of the bed and pulled Nicky in closely. 

*****

The following morning Red woke up still with a scorching Nicky wrapped in her arms. Red could see the sweat falling from her. 

"Nicky," Red began to shake her. Failing she tried again. "Nicky come on. Wake up. You need to shower." Nicky opened her eyes slowly. 

"I'm going to take your temperature," Red explained as she placed the thermometer in her mouth. After waiting for a moment she pulled it back out as gasped as she saw the reading. 

"I think you have a fever. I'm going to take you to the hospital."


	4. Chapter 4

"Keep pushing Ms Nichols," encouraged the midwife. Marka was going blue in the face from all the pushing. Marka gave one final push before a small, shrivelled baby arrived,  screaming. Marka sighed a huge breath of relief. 

"Congratulations Ms Nichols, it's a baby girl!" Marka hated the midwifes, always too happy and enthusiastic. She didn't even want this damn baby. She was happy with her two children she already had, both she knew were going to make it far, but for whatever reason she didn't feel as if this baby was going to follow in the right footsteps. Marka was soon snapped back into reality when doctors burst through the room, taking away her baby. 

"What's happening?" she asked, panicked. 

"It appears if there is something wrong. We just want to check her over. Make sure she's okay. Try not to worry Ms Nichols and rest. I'm sure everything will be okay." 

But of course it wasn't. 

***

Nicky was laying, propped up in a hospital bed hooked up to an IV line that was feeding her antibiotics. The doctors had diagnosed Nicky with an infection that could be treated with a course of antibiotics and a short stay in the hospital. The nurses had managed to bring her temperature down however she was still hot. She had a cool cloth resting on her forehead. It was late evening so Red had sent Lorna and Alex home. Red however was sat right beside Nicky and intended to do so until she was released. Nicky was dosing, she wasn't sure if it was because she was tired or the fact that Red was singing to her softly whilst twirly Nicky's wild hair around her finger.   

"How are you feeling honey?" asked Red, tentatively. 

"Tired," replied a groggy Nicky. 

"Get some rest honey. You'll feel a lot better in the morning." 

***

Nicky woke up the next morning to a Nurse administering more antibiotics through her IV. Red was sat in a light blue armchair to the left of her hospital bed. Red was awake, reading a book. As the Nurse leaves, Red looks up from her book and noticed Nicky's big brown eyes looking at her. 

"Morning honey," said Red as she placed the old, battered book to the side. 

"Morning," Nicky replied, groggily. 

"How are you feeling?"

"Better. I just want to get out of this place," before Red can reply with some kind of comforting comment, Lorna bursts through with a basket of fresh fruit. 

"Jesus Lorna. Why the hell have you brought fruit?" laughed Nicky, sitting up. 

"That's what people bring when someone is it the hospital, right?" Not wanting to get into anything too complicated, Nicky softly agrees. Feeling pleased with herself, Lorna then turns to Red. 

"Why don't you go home and take a shower. I can stay here with Nicky for a while," after some persuasion Red agreed and left the two alone. Nicky shuffled to one side of the bed and held her arm out on the other. 

"Come join me," she begged. Lorna smiled before sliding in next to Nicky and snuggling into her side. Nicky wrapped her arm around her tightly and kissed her forehead. Lorna looked up at her. 

"I love you so much Nicky." 

"I love you too." 

***

Marka was laying down in her hospital bed. Her mother had arrived with five year old Matthew and three year old Arianna. When a doctor entered the room Marka sat up straight. 

"Where is my baby?" She asked. 

"Ms Nichols I need to talk to you about your daughter." 

"What is it?" 

"It appears as if your daughter had been born with heart disease. We still have lots of tests to run but we thought we should keep up to date," Marka suddenly felt worried. 

"Can I see her?" 

"Not yet Ms Nichols. She's in critical condition. We will let you know as soon as you can see her," the doctor left after that. Marka's face became pale. Her Mother looked over at her with sad, sympathetic eyes. She knew that her daughter didn't really want this child, but this baby was still her daughter. Cecilia Nichols leaned forwards closer to her daughter. 

"It will be okay sweetheart." 

"Yes, I suppose," replied Marka, lifting her older daughter onto her lap and kissed the middle of her head softly. Whilst she never wanted another child, she didn't want it to die. 

***

Red helped Nicky into her apartment. 

"Have a lay down on the sofa honey. I'll make some soup." 

"Thank you Mummy," Nicky said as she stretched out on Red's sofa. Nicky began to drift to sleep when she heard a loud banging on the door. She could hear Red answer the door. Then the sound of her sisters confident voice traveled over to her. She sighed. Not because of her sister but because she knew her sister would come with her Mother's excuse as to why she couldn't be there for her sick daughter. 

She heard two pairs of footsteps coming into the open planned kitchen and living room of Red's apartment. 

"She's just on the sofa," explained Red. Red returned to stirring the pot of soup and Arianna approached Nicky and kissed her softly on the head. She lifted Nicky's stretched out legs and sat down, placing her legs back down, on her lap. 

"How are you?" She asked. 

"Better then I was. Tired though." 

"Well of course. Mum wanted to come but you know how busy she gets, she just couldn't get a plane back," Nicky rolled her eyes and laid her head back down. After a few moments silence Nicky looked back up at her older sister. 

"You know she doesn't care about me right." 

"Of course she cares about you Nick. She's just busy." 

"That's was she's always saying," Nicky had accepted the fact that her Mother didn't care about her. She had Red to look after her. 

***

It was at three months that Nicky was finally released from hospital with a confirmed diagnosis of heart disease. Marka was struggling looking after her two older children and sick baby on her own so she hired a nanny. She was prepared to spend time with Matthew and Arianna but she didn't want to be around Nicky too much. The baby was small and it cried a lot. She didn't have time for that in her busy lifestyle. 

***

It was when Nicky was five months that Marka took her out for the first time. Marka's Mother came along as they all sat in a small cafe down the road. Matthew and Arianna were drinking hot chocolate and getting all the attention while Nicky was in a pram, in the corner, being ignored. 

"Marka is that you?" Asked a familiar voice. Marka looked round and saw an old colleague. 

"Amanda, how lovely to see you," she replied in her perfected, friendly tone. So unlike her usual cold voice. 

"So your out with your children then?" Asked Amanda taking a seat. 

"Yes, we thought we could use some time out of the house." 

"I'm so sorry but please remind me of their names, you know my memory," she laughed. 

"Matthew and Arianna," Marka told her, smiling proudly at her two stars. Cecilia looked up sighing, knowing that Marka had once again forgotten about her youngest. 

"Are you forgetting someone," she asked, hoping to jog her daughters memory. Marka looked confused for a moment before she remembered. 

"Oh and the baby is Nicole." 

"I had no idea you've had a baby," enthused Amanda. 

"Well she wasn't exactly planned," Replied Marka, thinking about how the baby had ruined her perfectly planned life.


	5. Chapter 5

Mummy," gleefully said a three year old Nicky from her hospital bed. 

"I can't stay long," said Marka as she sat down on a chair opposite. Matthew and Arianna followed behind. With them both being older now, they knew and understood what was wrong with Nicky. She had just undergone her first open heart surgery. 

Matthew jumped up on the hospital bed and snuggled into his baby sister. He hugged her tightly and gave her a big, wet kiss on the cheek. He switched the TV on that was in front of  them and began flicking through the few channels the hospital had to offer. He finally settled on a cartoon and laid back down. He liked coming to visit his sister. Now that she lived there he didn't get to see her that often, it was a special treat when he could. 

Arianna was sat on the floor by the bed playing with dolls. Being slightly younger than Matthew she didn't completely understand what was wrong with her sister. She looked up at her two siblings and smiled, seeing the closeness. She suddenly felt an urge to join the two of them as she noticed Matthew wrap is arm around Nicky's pale, frail body. She climbed on top of the bed and squeezed herself in between the two. She looked over at her Mum who was busy doing something on her phone. Arianna had noticed that their Mother never really seemed interested in Nicky and that confused her because she always seemed so involved with herself and Matthew. 

"Come on Matthew and Arianna, we need to go. Mummy has some friends coming over later so we need to get ready," Matthew and Arianna both smothered Nicky in kisses before heading over to their Mother. 

"Goodbye Nicole. We will come back when we can.” It was the first time that Marka had spoken to or even looked at Nicky since she arrived. Nicky was once again left alone and even at the small age of three, Nicky understood that she was just an inconvenience to her Mother's life. 

*****

"So then I threw the bucket of water over her and told her that only I can make her that wet," concluded Alex as Nicky threw her head back in laughter. The two were sitting at Nicky's kitchen island sipping coffee. 

"That was some argument then," said Nicky, still laughing. 

"Well we're together again," Alex smiled. Nicky chuckled at the messed up relationship between her best friend and Piper. Although she would always take Alex's side, she could totally see why Piper would get frustrated at her. Nicky was just glad that her relationship was nothing like that with Lorna. They had a special connection. One that she never wanted to give up. 

"So how are you?" Came the dreaded question. Nicky hated people asking how she was. How do they think she is?

"I'm okay," Alex raised her eyebrow in question. 

"Really I'm okay." She felt better than she had two weeks ago, but Nicky couldn't remember the last time she felt 'okay'. 

"Are you coming to Piper's party tonight?" asked Alex, clearly trying to change the subject. 

"Maybe, I'll see how I feel." 

"Okay well I have to go meet her now. Apparently I'm on snack duty," said Alex, getting up. 

"Okay, I'll let you know," the two said their goodbyes and Alex left, leaving Nicky all alone. Matthew and Arianna and had both been around for a few days but they had to return to work and college. Even Marka had been there for a day, before muttering an excuse and leaving again. Nicky had accepted that Marka only cared about two of her three children but she just didn't understand why. Was it because she wasn't good enough? 

Heading upstairs and into her bedroom she slumped down onto her bed and began to doze. She always felt so tired these days. 

*****

Nicky awoke the the sound of her phone ringing. She rolled over and answered it, lazily bringing it up to her ear and yawning. 

"Sorry did I wake you?" asked Alex's voice. 

"Yeah, but it's fine. I need to stop being a lazy ass," Alex laughed awkwardly. 

"Are to coming to Piper's?" 

"Sure, just give me twenty minutes."

"Alright, I'll see you there then." 

"Yeah. Bye," Nicky said as she hung up, rolling back over on her back. Finally looking at the time, Nicky groaned realising she had been asleep for over four hours yet somehow, she still felt tired. 

She rolled off her bed and trudged over to her wardrobe to look for something different to wear. She slipped on a pair of jeans and a navy, low cut t-shirt and tied her hair up in a messy bun. She left the house and jumped into her car, starting the engine and beginning the short drive to Piper's house. 

***

"Mummy, Mummy, can we please go get Nicky now?" begged Matthew. It was ten months after Nicky's surgery when she finally got to go home. It would be weird. The hospital had been her home for the past two years. 

Marka entered the hospital room carrying a small, pink bag full of Nicky's clothes. Nicky was already waiting eagerly, sat on the hospital bed. She jumped off and was embraced by Matthew and Arianna tightly. Nicky giggled, feeling happy for the first time in a while. 

"Lets go," said Marka flatly. Having Nicky living at the hospital had meant that she didn't need to look after her but now she was home it would be a constant reminder of the child she never wanted. 

*****

On Nicky's first day at school she wondered in alone. She was skinnier and paler than anyone else and she was most definitely the smallest. She felt like an outcast. She hadn't made any friends yet. 

On week five, Nicky was forced to partake in PE. Up until now she had managed to avoid it, making up lame excuses like having a headache or feeling sick. Even at the young age of five she felt self consciousness of the huge scar running down the centre of her chest, knowing that would make people say even more horrible things to her. 

She slid off her shirt and quickly tried to put her polo shirt on, hoping no one would see her scar. However as it was almost on she felt someone pull it off. Jessica Wedge. She was five, the same as everyone else but already people were scared of her. 

"What's that?" she jeered, pointing at the jagged scar. 

"Please leave me alone," whimpered Nicky, desperately trying to stop the tears from rolling down her face, knowing that it would make the situation even worse. 

"Freak," said Jessica, laughing. To Nicky's dismay, she began to cry which only made Jessica laugh even harder. Nicky wanted the floor to open up and swallow her whole when a girl, slightly taller than her with jet black hair pushed Jessica. She didn't know the girls name but she had noticed her sitting by herself too a few times. Sometimes Nicky considered going over to her, but always backed out at the last moment. 

"Leave her alone," said the girl as Jessica regained her balance. 

"Get out of my way." 

"No.” Although Jessica was the most feared girl in their class, the girl was taller than her, intimating her slightly. Jessica looked over at her three 'friends' standing in the corner, watching. 

"Come on girls. Let's leave the freaks to it," she said as she walked away, with the other girls following. Nicky looked at the girl who was standing next to her. The girl handed Nicky back her top from the floor, she put it on hastily. 

"Thank you," she stammered. 

"It's no problem. They do it to me all the time. I'm Alex by the way," she said, holding out her hand. 

"Nicky," she replied, taking Alex's hand. 

*****

Nicky pushed open the front door to Piper's house, immediately being hit by the smell of booze and weed. She saw Alex and Piper in the corner of the kitchen and decided to go over. 

"Hey guys," she said, smiling. 

"You made it," said Piper as she hugged Nicky. Nicky didn't really like hugs but Piper was a very huggy person so she had gotten used to it. 

"How are you?" asked Alex.

"God, why does everyone always ask me that?" moaned Nicky. 

"Sorry," mumbled Alex. Nicky sighed, knowing it was going to be a long night.


	6. Chapter 6

"Nicky honey, wake up," said Lorna gently as she kissed the girl on the head. Nicky rolled over on her back and opened her eyes slowly. At first she was confused by her surroundings, later realising that she was in Lorna's bed. 

"What happened last night?" asked Nicky, her voice more croaky than usual. 

"You and Alex got completely smashed last night, so much you passed out so I brought you back here." 

"Thanks," replied Nicky, kissing Lorna on the lips passionately. 

*****

The night before 

Alex and Nicky were laughing uncontrollably at someone falling over. Usually they wouldn't laugh at something like that, but in their current state of mind, it was hilarious. 

"That dude went tumbling," laughed Nicky, tears falling from her eyes. Alex smacked her knee, in a poor attempt to stop laughing. Lorna and Piper walked over, smiling at the sight of their loved ones laughing. It had been ages since Lorna had seen Nicky smile like that, she liked it. 

"You two look happy," Lorna smiled, leaning in and kissing Nicky. As she lent back, Lorna looked at Nicky sternly. 

"Have you been drinking?" She asked. 

"Only a couple," lied Nicky. 

"You know your not supposed to be drinking with your medication." 

"Please stop worrying baby, I'm fine. Now come and dance with me," Nicky said as she stumbled up grabbing Lorna's hand and leading her towards the dance floor, leaving Alex and Piper alone. 

"She seems good," said Piper and she sat down next to Alex. 

"She's not always like that you know." 

"I know. And how are you Al, we don't very often talk about you in this situation." 

"It's hard you know, seeing her deteriorate like this. I just can't see anything happen to her. She's my best friend and she means everything to me. I don't want her to die."

*****

"We would like to change your medication Nicky," said her doctor. 

"To what?" asked Red, shifting forward in her seat. 

"We would like to give her the same medication but rather than in a pill form we were thinking of administering it through a PICC line." 

"Why the sudden change." 

"The side effects would be a lot more manageable and we would be able to give Nicky a stronger dose. I can give you a leaflet and on our next appointment me can discus it further," he said, handing Red a leaflet. The whole time Nicky didn't say a thing. 

After they left the doctors office and went into the car Red looked over at Nicky. 

"Are you okay honey?" she asked. Nicky nodded, not wanting to talk. She felt trapped, she couldn't breath and she felt as if her whole world was spinning. 

"I'm going to be sick," she muttered. Red quickly stopped the car and helped Nicky out, just as she vomited. She held her hair back with one hand and rubbed her back with the other. When Nicky finished, she helped her back into the car. 

"It's okay honey, we're nearly home." 

*****

Nicky had another heart surgery at seven. On her first day back at school, after four months of being off, Alex embraced her with a big hug. 

"I missed you so much Nicky," she whispered in her left ear. 

"I missed you too," replied Nicky. 

Finally the two stopped hugging when they were faced by Jessica Wedge.

"Looks like the freak is back then," she said, crossing her arms surrounded by her 'friends', who laughed. Before Alex or Nicky could say anything back, Jessica pulled out a pair of long, scissors from her pocket. 

"What are you doing?" asked Alex confused. Her face was matching Nicky's, confused as to what the other girl might do next. 

"Grab them," demand Jessica as three girls took Alex and moved her over to a corner, screaming at them to let her go. Three more girls came over to Nicky and did the same, just not moving her away. Jessica smiled a big, toothy, grin. She took Nicky's bag and jacket off and began cutting up her shirt. Both Alex and Nicky were screaming at her to stop. The commotion had also gathered a large crowd of students. 

As Jessica finished cutting it she separated the two pieces of fabric, exposing Nicky's frail, pale body and a fresh new scar running down the centre of her chest, to just above her belly button. 

Jessica began running her finger up and down the new scar, then the smaller, older scar that was slightly more to the left. The people around them began to laugh as Nicky flinched away. Her new scar was still painful to touch and slightly red. 

Some how Alex had managed to break free. She grabbed Nicky and pulled her away from the crowd. Alex held Nicky as she cried hysterically. 

*****

Nicky was laying on her bed at Red's, looking up at the ceiling. A PICC line? She had researched it before and knew that it was something she definitely didn't want. These past few months she had felt worse than usual. She was more tired and just didn't feel like doing anything. She rolled over onto her side and let the tears fall down her face.


	7. Chapter 7

Three months later 

"So you will need to come back every week to change your dressing. We've given you a home care kit with instructions inside. Your arm may ache for the first few day but over the counter pain relief should help," the Nurse briefed Nicky and Red. 

"Thank you," said Red as she and Nicky stood up and left the room. 

*****

"Are you okay?" asked Red as she began to drive away from the hospital car park. 

"Yeah," Nicky replied simply, holding her left arm.

"Is your arm sore?" 

"Not yet." 

Red felt hopeless in helping her daughter. 

"Do you want to go home or come over to mine?" 

"Yours," said Nicky, not wanting to go back to her big empty house. 

"It would be my pleasure." 

Red smiled, finally thankful that her girl would be with her. When she stayed with her she knew that she was properly being looked after. 

*****

"I'm hungry," complained a twelve year old Nicky. Her and Alex had been wondering around the high street for two hours, neither of them wanting to go home. 

"There's this amazing new bakery down the road. It sells Russian treats but they are so amazing," recommended Alex. 

"Show me the way," smiled Nicky, intrigued by the sound of the Russian food. 

The two entered the bakery and as Nicky pushed open the door the amazing smell instantly hit her nostrils. 

"Wow, it smells amazing," Nicky whispered to Alex who nodded her head in agreement. 

"I'm glad you think so," said a woman with a Russian accent and bright red, short, spiked hair as she walked over to the two girls. 

"What can I get you?" she asked. Alex and Nicky Looked over at each other not knowing how to pronounce any of the foods. Seeing the confusion in the girls faces the woman decided to speak again. 

"I'll get you my most popular dish. You two have a seat and I'll bring it over.” The girls both said their thanks and sat at a table in the corner, overlooking the street. 

A few moments later the woman came over to the two girls with two plates and two mugs of hot chocolate. 

"Two Vatushkas and two hot chocolates on the house." 

The two girls ripped off a small part from the pastry. Nicky looked back up at the woman. 

"Wow, this is so good. What is it?" The woman began to explain exactly what it was. Nicky found the woman fascinating. 

*****

"Are you okay?" asked Red as she entered her lounge to find Nicky laying on the sofa watching TV. 

"My arm hurts," complained Nicky as she looked at her newly placed PICC line. 

"Have you taken any pain medication?" Nicky shook her head in response. Red left the room to get her some painkillers. She entered a few moments later with two tablets and a glass full of water. She handed it to Nicky who sat up slightly. She took the pills and finished the water before handing it back to Red. 

Red sat down next to Nicky and began to rub her leg. 

"It will be okay Nicky."

"I know." 

*****

Two weeks later Alex, Nicky, Poussey and Lorna were sat in the school canteen. 

"God I really don't know what to do about her. Look at her," complained Alex as she pointed over to Piper who was currently flirting with Larry Bloom, a well know nerd. 

"I can't keep up with you two, your like a yo-yo," Nicky laughed. 

"Lucky were not like that huh Nicky?" Lorna asked suggestively. 

"Of course baby." 

"Urgh, you guys make me sick," Poussey joked. Alex's face suddenly turned pale. 

"Shes coming over," she whispered. 

"Go sort out your girl," encouraged Nicky. 

*****

Lorna pushed Nicky into her bedroom. Lorna began taking her top off and then tried taking Nicky's off. Nicky stopped kissing her and stood back. Her face turned serious suddenly. 

"Oh honey, is it your PICC line?" Lorna asked sympathetically. Nicky nodded timidly. She was yet to show it to Lorna, afraid what she would think. 

"Its okay, you don't have to be ashamed." Lorna gave Nicky a reassuring smile. She tried once again and this time Nicky let her. Lorna looked over at Nicky's bandaged upper arm. She began to softly kiss the area around it, showing Nicky that she really didn't care. Nicky smiled, she was lucky she had Lorna.


	8. Chapter 8

Nicky, Lorna and Red were sat round Red's kitchen table eating a quiche she had made previously. Lorna looked over at Nicky who was pushing the meal around on her plate, not really eating it. 

"Nicky, hon, what's wrong?" Lorna asked, placing her hand on Nicky's arm. Nicky look up and Lorna noticed the bags under her eyes. 

"Nothing, I'm just not really hungry," she replied, looking back down at her barley touched plate. At this point, Red looked up. 

"Honey, you've hardly eaten in three days and when you have you've thrown it straight back up. Perhaps we should take you to the hospital. It could be that new medication?" Nicky just shook her head in response. 

"I think maybe I'm going to go for a lay down, I'm feeling pretty tired," Nicky excused herself from the table. She left the room and went over to her bedroom that Red kept for her when she stayed over. 

When Lorna was positive that Nicky was out of ear shot she faced Red, with a worried expression on her face. 

"I'm real worried about her. She's not herself anymore. I can see her getting worse but I just don't know what to do." A tear began to fall from her left eye. Red reached out a sensitive hand and wiped it away before replying to her, choosing her words carefully. 

"I know honey. If she doesn't eat tomorrow then I'm going to take her straight to the hospital. But the good news is she is getting higher up on the transplant list." Sometimes Red would find it different to be positive to, in moments like this, but she knew that she had to be strong. For Nicky's sake.

*****

Two weeks later 

"What's wrong honey?" asked Red as she stroked a withdrawn Nicky's hand. Nicky moved her head up slightly on the hospital bed to look at Red properly. 

"I really didn't want it to have to come to this," she muttered. 

"I know Nicky but remember it's only temporary. Only until you can eat again." 

As she said that two Nurses entered the room. 

"Are we ready Nicky?" Nicky nodded her head reluctantly. 

"Right if you can sit up. Mrs Reznikov I'm going to hand you this drink. Nicky, if you feel the need to cough at any point, have some of the drink. Okay?" Nicky nodded as she sat up. The Nurse began to talk Nicky and Red about what she was going to do but Nicky wasn't really listening as she was watching the other Nurse setting some things up. The taller of the two Nurses who was previously setting up the equipment, brought the tube over to Nicky, and placed it by her nose. She made a few measurements before going back over to the preparation table. 

A few moments later both Nurses came over to Nicky and Red. Red was perched on the side of the hospital bed holding the cup of water. One Nurse carefully took hold of Nicky's head to keep her still as the other one took the tube and held it just underneath Nicky's left nostril. 

"Remember what I said Nicky. As soon as you feel the need to cough take a sip of the drink." 

The Nurse began to push the feeding tube up Nicky's nostril. For a few seconds Nicky felt fine before she felt the need to cough. She began to sip from the drink that Red was holding for her as the Nurse continued to feed the tube through Nicky's nostril. Nicky began to gag and the tube fell out. She brought up a small about of yellow liquid into the cardboard bowl she had been given. Red was rubbing her back. 

"It's okay Nicky. That's quite normal. We can try again," said the Nurse as she looked at Nicky with soft eyes. 

*****

It took them three more times before they managed to place the NG feeding tube in correctly. It had been taped into place on her cheek with the rest tucked behind her ear. She was laying on her other side, facing away from the door. Her throat felt sore and all she wanted to do was pull it back out. Red had tried to talk to her but she would only grunt in response. 

Several hours later Lorna and Alex entered he hospital room. 

"Hey Nick," greeted Alex warmly as Lorna kissed her on the cheek, carefully avoiding the tube that had been taped in place. 

"Go away," croaked Nicky. 

"Please Nicky," pleaded Lorna, confused as to why Nicky was treating her coldly. 

"I don't want you to see me like this." 

"No, Nicky. I love you. No matter what." 

"Really?"

"Of course. I'll always love you." 

Nicky rolled over and looked into Lorna's deep brown eyes. They kissed for a few seconds before Alex interrupted them. 

"Do you want me to leave?" Nicky chuckled softly. 

"We're done," stated Lorna, smiling back down at Nicky. 

"For now," implied Nicky, grinning back up at Lorna and Alex. 

"I'm glad to see your doing better." 

Lorna knew Nicky had a long way to go. However in that brief moment, she felt a small amount of hope that perhaps one day she would be able to have a life with Nicky. One where they could get married, have kids but most importantly, Nicky would be healthy.


	9. Chapter 9

One week later 

For Nicky, her first day back at school with her feeding tube was a big one. When she first got her PICC line she was able to hide it underneath long sleeves, which she still did, but her feeding tube was on her face for everyone to see. 

As she walked through the school gates she saw Alex and Janae talking by a tree. She approached them, feeling more confident to walk through the doors with her friends. Alex had seen Nicky with it however Janae had not and she was nervous about her reaction. 

"Hey guys," she said, trying to sound confident.

"Hey Nick," greeted Janae. Nicky was glad when she didn't mention anything. She truly had the best friends. 

When they had to go into school, Alex noticed the worried expression on Nicky's face. 

"It's going to be okay Nicky. If someone says something, we've all got your back."

*****

"Well look who it is," said Jessica as she saw Nicky with Poussey by the lockers. 

"Go away Jessica," threatened Poussey. 

"I like your new piece of jewellery Nicky," she snarled. 

"I mean it Jessica." 

"Where did you get it?" 

Poussey snapped and slapped her. 

"It's not worth it P. Let's go." Nicky took hold of Poussey's arm and dragged her away. 

"We should go out for a burger later. Oh wait, you can't eat!" Jessica shouted after them, laughing as she walked away. When she left Poussey stopped walking. 

"Are you okay Nicky?" 

"Yeah, I'm fine. Let's go to lesson before Healy gives us detention for being late again." 

*****

After school Nicky reluctantly pushed the big door to her house open. Just as she reached the kitchen she heard another one of Marka's parties. As she entered the kitchen her eyes fell to her mother who had her brother and sister either side of her. She walked slightly closer to hear what she was saying to the woman stood in front of them. 

"And Matthew is getting married soon," she boasted, Nicky had no idea he had even proposed to his girlfriend. 

"Wow you must be so proud of both of your children." 

"I really am." 

Nicky's face fell. This must be another one of Marka's friends who wasn't aware of Nicky's existence. Nicky walked over, wanting to see what the woman's reaction would be. 

"Nicky," greeted Arianna happily. She embraced her sister tightly. After a few seconds she moved back to look at Nicky's face. 

"Nick, what happened to you?" 

"Nothing." 

"But your tube."

"Just my new medication stopped me from eating. I'm fine." The two spoke for a few more moments before Nicky heard another voice.

"Nicole, I had no idea you would be here. I thought you would be at Galina's." 

"Who's this then?" asked the woman towards Marka. However before you could Matthew spoke for her. 

"This is Nicky, my sister." As he said that he pulled her in for a side hug. 

"I didn't know you had another child Marka?" 

"Nicole," Marka said an attempt to jog the other persons memory. 

"Oh of course, I just assumed she had you know..." 

"No," she replied hurriedly. 

"I'm going to lie down," said Nicky, wanting to get out of that situation. 

"I'll come with you," said Matthew, following her. 

*****

As Nicky reached her bedroom she laid down on her bed and Matthew sat down next to her. 

"So your getting married then?" Nicky asked. 

"Yeah I proposed last week. We're hoping to get married in three months." 

"Well congratulations I guess." She took her jacket off. Matthew's eyes looked at her PICC line that was bandaged up for better protection. 

"What is happening with you Nicky. I mean you can't even eat anything. You have a PICC line and a feeding tube. Please tell me what is going on with you." 

"What's there to say. I'm dying so..." 

"Nicky! Don't say that! Please. Your not dying." 

"I'm just so tired Matt, I can't even eat anymore." 

"Things are going to get better." Nicky grumbled as a reply. Her eyes began to feel heavy. 

"I remember when you were born Nicky. You were this tiny little shriveled up baby. To most people you were probably ugly but to me, you were my baby sister and you meant everything to me. When we found out that you were ill, nothing felt right. You weren't expected to make it to the age you are now but you have and everyday you are moving further up on that transplant list. Please don't give up now, you are so close to being okay and I don't want you to give up. You can still have a life, a life with Lorna. You can still be happy. You just have to keep fighting for a little longer." Matthew rubbed his thumb over her cheek. He looked down realizing she was asleep and probably had been throughout his whole speech. He didn't mind though. He could tell her again. Anyway he liked spending time with his baby sister.


	10. Chapter 10

Red walked down her stairs in the morning to Nicky sitting on the bottom step, gagging. 

"Oh honey." Red rushed to Nicky's side. One hand holding her hair and the other rubbing her back. Nicky kept dry heaving. When she stopped Red got her a cold glass of water. Thankfully Nicky was now able to consume liquid. 

"Have a seat on the sofa honey." Red helped Nicky over to the sofa. She rested her head on Red who sat down next to her. Nicky began to take small sips from the glass of water. 

"Close your eyes Nicky. Try to rest." 

Nicky dozed for around ten minutes before she sat bolt up right and began coughing. She leaned over her legs as the coughs became more intense. 

"I...can't...breathe," she choked. As soon as she finished the sentence she felt a strange sensation in her throat. Her feeding tube had moved place and was now hanging out of her mouth, with the other end still stuck to her cheek. 

"Okay Nicky, it's okay." Nicky's coughing stopped and she had caught her breathe again. 

Red carefully pulled the feeding tube out. 

"Let's get you to the hospital honey." 

*****

One week later 

"The surgery shouldn't last more than two or three hours. We will let you know as soon as you can see her," said the Nurse to Red, Lorna and Alex as they were sat in the waiting room while Nicky was getting a feeding tube fitted into her stomach. They tried the NG tube once again however it didn't last so they decided it was best to surgically place one.

"At least she will be more comfortable now," said Alex, trying to make the situation seem better. 

"I supposed so," replied Red.

*****

"Nicky, honey, it's okay. Open your eyes," Red said as she stroked her thumb up and down Nicky's cheek. She watched as Nicky's eyes fluttered open. 

"Hey Nicky. How are you feeling?" 

"Sore," she mumbled. Nicky grunted slightly, attempting to move. 

"Can you move my bed up please?" She asked Red. 

Red moved her bed up. 

"Is that better?" 

"Yeah, Thanks." 

"Do you want a sip of water?" Nicky nodded and took the cup that Red offered her. She took a few small sips before handing it back to Red. 

"Do you want me to get a Nurse to give you some more pain medication?" 

"No, I'm fine." 

"Okay, Honey. Try to get some sleep. You'll feel better when you wake up." 

Nicky closed her eyes as Red began to rub her head, humming to her gently. 

*****

Four weeks later

These past few weeks Nicky had been feeling a lot better. She had began to get her appetite back although she still had her feeding tube. She was walking round the high street, not wanting to be at home. Marka was yet again holding another one of her parties and Nicky didn't want to be around that after last time. She was pulled from her thoughts as she saw Lorna. 

"Hey," she said smiling. 

"Well this is a nice surprise," replied Lorna, giving Nicky a hug. 

"What's a surprise?" 

"Seeing you, out." 

Yeah well I was feeling good today so I felt like doing something." 

"Well it's good to see you outside." 

"Listen Lorna, there's something I wanted to talk to you about." 

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, let me buy you a muffin and I'll tell you." 

*****

Nicky watched as Lorna ate the whole muffin in four bites.  

"Wow your really hungry," Lorna laughed in response. 

"So what did you want to talk to me about?" she asked, wiping the crumbs away from her mouth.  

"Well I was thinking about things and at the minute I'm feeling good so I thought me and you should do something while she still can." 

"Okay." 

"Let me finish. I was looking on the internet and I think she should go to Bora Bora. You've always wanted to go there right?" Lorna's face lit up. 

"Wow Nicky, really?" 

"Yeah, on me." 

"Yes, Nicky, yes!" Lorna leaned over and kissed Nicky on the lips. 

"I love you Nicky." 

"I love you too," she chuckled. 

"Oh but I think you mean Bora Bora Bora, not Bora Bora."


	11. Chapter 11

"Do you really need three suitcases Lorna? We're only going for five nights," questioned Nicky as she watched Lorna put her final case in the trunk of Nicky's car just leaving enough space for Nicky's much smaller one. 

"Well I didn't know what to pack." 

"So you just packed everything thing then?" 

"Yeah, pretty much," Lorna agreed, smiling. She was glad that Nicky was feeling much better recently. The new medication had seemed to be working. 

As Nicky drove the two of them to the airport, she looked over at Lorna, who was looking out of the window, deep in thought. 

"Are you okay Lorna?" When she didn't reply, she tried again. 

"Lorna," she said, her voice slightly louder than last time. Lorna seemed to snap back into reality and look over at Nicky, completely oblivious to what she had just been asked. 

"Yeah?" 

"Are you okay? You seemed deep in thought." 

"I'm just so happy. I've always wanted to go to Bora Bora Bora." 

"Lorna babe, there are only two Boras," Nicky almost found it comical how Lorna was convinced there were three. 

"No there's definitely three," she replied, determined to win. 

"Where are you even getting that from?" 

"I read it in a magazine, there were three Boras Nicky. I'm positive. Google it if you don't believe me." Nicky chuckled. 

"I don't need to google it Lorna. I booked the plane tickets, with Bora Bora printed on them." Lorna remained silent, not sure how to come back to that so Nicky decided to change the subject slightly. 

"What were you doing looking at those magazines anyway?"

"I was looking at the most popular honeymoon destinations." 

"Why were you looking at that?" 

"For when we get married silly," Lorna said as if it was the most obvious thing. If Nicky had a drink in her mouth she would've most definitely spat it out by now and she almost swerved the car in shock. 

"Aren't we a little young to be getting married?" 

"I know that but when we're older. You do want to marry me don't you?" 

"Lorna," began Nicky. She loved Lorna with all her heart and most definitely wanted to marry her but Nicky never liked talking about the future unsure of wether she would be there or not. She was aware that just because at the moment she was feeling good, she may not always feel that way. 

"We can't plan that far ahead when we don't know how things are going to be this time next year."

"Nicky." 

"Look I just don't want you to get your hopes up about something that might not happen." 

"But I love you Nicky and already know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you." 

"And you know what I want the same with you Lorna but you shouldn't plan that far ahead. Anyway let's not talk about that now, we're going to Bora Bora remember." Lorna nodded her head in response. 

"But we're going to Bora Bora Bora hun." 

*****

Nicky was fifteen when her mother caught her kissing a girl. Nicky had identified as a lesbian for a while but had never bothered telling Marka as she guessed she probably wouldn't care. However that was definitely not the case. When Marka caught the two girls, she took Nicky by the ear and dragged her away, into the kitchen. 

"What the hell do you think you are doing Nicole?" she screamed, her hand still gripping Nicky's ear and her face turning redder every second. 

"Do I really need to explain it to you? It seemed pretty obvious to me" replied Nicky. She usually used sarcasm as a way to protect herself in situations like that. 

"Get out!" 

"What?"

"You heard me. Get out." 

"Why?" 

" I can't bare you look at you right now Nicole." 

A tear fell down Nicky's cheek as the realisation that her mother really didn't love her, suddenly hit her, leaving her feeling very empty. 

*****

Nicky found herself at Red's, sat on her sofa, cuddling with her cat whilst eating a warm brownie that Red had just baked. Red knew better than to ask Nicky what was wrong, instead waiting for the girl to tell her. 

Several hours later, Nicky still hadn't told Red anything so she decided to give her a nudge in the right direction. 

"Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" She saw Nicky think for a second. 

"Marka caught me kissing a girl," she mumbled softly. Red had suspected that Nicky was gay for a while but never wanted to say anything. 

"She told me to get out." Nicky began to cry so Red embraced her in a tight hug. 

"Shh, shh honey. It's okay," she comforted. 

"Do you hate me because I'm gay?" Nicky sobbed. Red's heart broke at that. 

"No Nicky. I could never hate you, regardless of who you love. So long as you find someone that makes you happy, I'm happy too." 

Just like earlier when Nicky realised just how much Marka didn't care, she also realised just how much Red did. 

*****

After waiting in the airport for what felt like hours, there was an announcement that their flight was now ready. Nicky and Lorna jumped up and began to walk towards the plane. 

"Are you ready babe?" asked Nicky to an overly excited Lorna. 

"I can't wait. Bora Bora Bora has been on my bucket list for so long." Lorna linked her arm through Nicky's as they continued to walk. Nicky smiled, knowing she could never change her lovers mind about the name of the place. She was determined to make their trip the best week of their lives.


	12. Chapter 12

"Welcome to Bora Bora," said Nicky as they entered the grand hotel reception. 

"Bora," added Lorna. Even though throughout the whole plane ride the two discussed the actual name of the place, even though Nicky had proof that she was right, Lorna was still insisting on adding an extra Bora on the end. Nicky liked to pretend that it annoyed her but really it was just another quirk of Lorna that she loved.

When they entered their room, Nicky noticed Lorna's face light up. 

"Wow Nicky. This place is amazing." Lorna jumped on the large bed. While to Nicky this wasn't that different to her own bedroom to Lorna this was a whole other world. Lorna's family didn't have the money and luxury that the Nichols family had but the one big difference was that Lorna had her Mother's love. Nicky didn't.

*****

"Nicky you know I love having you here but at some point you're going to have to go back," said Red as her and Nicky sat watching a game show. Nicky took a few moments before she replied.

"I know, I just don't really want to know what she's going to say to me next." 

"If things get to much honey or she upsets you again you know your always welcome back here but she's your mother I'm sure she'll understand. It's probably just a shock that's all." 

That afternoon, Nicky went back home. As she entered the kitchen, preparing herself for what Marka was going to say to her, she was shocked to see Marka, Matthew and Arianna all laughing at the kitchen island. Marka was never like that with Nicky. 

"Nicole. Take a seat. I need to talk to you," said Marka, finally noticing her presence. Matthew dragged Arianna away in order to give his Mother and Sister some privacy. Nicky did as she was told and was nervous while waiting for what Marka was going to say. 

"I've been looking on the internet." 

"Okay," said Nicky, confused as to what Marka was talking about. 

"There's some really good places to get those," she paused for a moment. 

"Thoughts from your mind." Nicky couldn't believe what she was hearing. 

"These aren't just thoughts Mum. I'm gay. A lesbian. I like girls. There's no changing that." 

"Don't be stupid. You can still have a life, get married...to a man." Nicky had, had enough. She got up and left without saying another word, going back to Red's. 

*****

"I will call you in a couple of days. Bye Ma," said Nicky as she hung up. Red had called to make sure the two of them had gotten there safely. Nicky turned to Lorna who was still laying on the bed. 

"Do you want to go to the beach?" 

"Do you really have to ask?" laughed Lorna. 

Twenty minutes later they found themselves on the most beautiful beach either of them had seen. They were laying on their towels with Lorna's head resting on Nicky's chest.

"So about what we were talking about before the plane," began Lorna, sounding nervous. 

"I love you so much Nicky. I know you say that you may not make it forever but I don't care. There is no one else that I love and I will never love anyone else more than you." 

Okay. I'll make you a deal. If I make it to an age where we're both ready, then I would love to marry you," Nicky said, referring to their earlier conversation. Lorna smiled. 

"But for now, let's go take a dip." Nicky took Lorna by the hand and lead her to the crystal clear ocean. She really did love that girl. 

*****

Three weeks after their return Lorna, Alex and Nicky were all round Red's. Both Lorna and Nicky had been buzzing since their return from Bora Bora and finally Lorna had admitted that she was wrong and there were only two Bora's after looking back over the magazine. 

They were just chilling watching some television when Nicky's phone rang. She answered it and when she heard who it was, she left the room. Alex and Lorna silenced the TV and Red came out from the kitchen in an attempt to hear who it was. 

"Are you serious?" They could hear Nicky ask. Several other things were said that they couldn't make out. Nicky came back into the room, looking slightly shocked and nervous. All three wanted to question her but none had the courage to do so in fear of what she might say. 

"Who was it?" asked Red finally. 

"It was my doctor. I've got something to tell you." Nicky took a seat on the sofa preparing herself to explain what she had just been told. This was going to change her life drastically and it made her feel physically sick. 

"I'm finally getting a new heart."


	13. Chapter 13

"Say that again?" Demanded Red. She needed Nicky to say it again. 

"I'm getting a new heart." Alex, Lorna and Red all gathered around Nicky and hugged her tightly. 

"When?" Asked Alex as she let go. 

"Friday. I have an appointment tomorrow." 

"I can't believe your finally going to be better," said Lorna. A tear began to fall from her right eye. 

"Don't cry." Nicky tentatively rubbed away the stray tear. For the first time in a long time, Nicky felt optimistic that she would be able to live a normal life. 

*****

A newly turned sixteen year old Nicky walked into a house party with Alex.

"Come on Nichols, I need to find Piper." 

"Wow, you really can't do anything without her anymore can you?" Teased Nicky. 

"It's called being in love," Nicky laughed as Alex dragged her through the kitchen. 

"Pipes!" 

Piper approached the two woman with a smaller, brunette with bright red lipstick following behind. 

"Alex, Nicky...this is Lorna," Piper introduced. Lorna smiled slightly. 

"Hey, I'm Nicky." 

"I'm Lorna."

"Yeah, I know. Piper just said." Lorna blushed as Nicky picked her up on her mistake. As Nicky looked around for Alex, she noticed her and Piper in a corner, making out. 

"Well I guess it's just me and you kid. So what do you want to do?" 

"Let's play ten questions." 

"What's that?" 

"I ask you a question, you answer and then I do. Then you ask me a question." 

"Your on." Nicky guided Lorna to a sofa in a quite corner. They sat down, facing each other. 

"I'll go first," said Lorna excitedly. 

"So lets start easy. What's your full name?" 

"Nicole Bianca Nichols." 

"Your name is Nicole Nichols?" Laughed Lorna, obviously slightly drunk. 

"Yeah!" Nicky laughed in return. Normally she would be offended but there was something different about this girl. 

"Lorna Maria Morello."

"Italian?" 

"You got it!" They both shared a laugh. 

*****

It was now the following morning and as Nicky woke up she noticed a small Italian curled up in her arms. Nicky stirring, subsequently woke Lorna up. 

"Nicky!" Shrieked Lorna hurriedly. As she realised she was naked she blushed. 

"Do you have any spare clothes?" 

"Sure. You can take a shower as well." 

"Thank you," As Lorna left the bedroom and rushed into Nicky's ensuite, Nicky rolled over desperately trying to remember what had happened the night before.

*****

Friday 

Nicky was in a hospital bed waiting to be taken down to surgery. An IV had been inserted into her wrist. 

"Are you okay Nicky?" Asked Matthew. Both Matthew and Arianna were in the room with Marka sat in a chair in the corner. Red was also there. Alex and Lorna had been told to come later, after the operation. 

"I'm fine." 

They spoke for another twenty minutes before the doctor came in. 

"We're ready for you," 

Red kissed Nicky on the head. 

"I love you my girl. You'll be fine I promise. Just think of all of the things you can do after this." 

*****

It was six months since Lorna had joined Nicky's school and three months into their relationship. Nicky was walking along the corridor. When someone placed their hands over her eyes. She smiled, already aware as to who it was. 

"Guess who," said the familiar, Italian voice.

"Hmmm," teased Nicky. 

"Is it Piper?" 

"No! It's Lorna!" said Lorna as she spun Nicky round and kissed her on the lips. 

"I know it's you, you idiot!" Nicky laughed. Lorna's face suddenly changed from a bright smile to a look of worry. 

"Hey, what's wrong?" Asked Nicky gently, placing a hand on her shoulder. 

"Listen, you can say no if you want to but my parents want to meet you." 

"Is that why your so worried?" 

"Yeah. There going to a restaurant tonight, it's my brothers birthday, and they want you to come." 

"Well I guess I'll have to meet them at some point." 

"Really?" 

"Yeah!"

*****

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP. Nicky opened one eye and then the other. Red was stood above her. She tried to talk but soon realised she had a tube down her throat. 

"It's okay honey. Your okay." Red rubbed Nicky's head. A few tears began to spill from Nicky's eyes. Red looked over at the Nurse. 

"It's just the anaesthetic. Just comfort her and she will be fine." 

Red looked back down at Nicky. 

"Your going to be okay sweetheart. The surgery went well. You have a second chance at life now and you are going to be able to do so many things." 

Nicky finally felt content.


	14. Chapter 14

One day post transplant 

Nicky was laying flat on her back. There was around twenty different tubes coming out from her. Red was sat next to her. Nicky awoke from a nap. She had pretty much been sleeping since her surgery. 

"Good morning beautiful," cooed Red. Nicky muttered something incoherent in response. 

"How are you feeling?" 

"Sore," murmured Nicky. Her voice was still croaky from the tube. 

"Do you want me to get a Nurse to get you some pain medication?" Nicky nodded her head. 

Soon a Nurse came in and began fiddling with one of the IVs in her left hand. 

"In a couple of days we will be able to remove some of these tubes, it will make you more comfortable. Then you'll be able to sit up a little. Do you fancy something to drink?" Nicky shook her head. 

"What about some ice cubes to suck on then? It will moisturise your mouth a little." 

"Okay," replied Nicky. It hurt to talk but she began to feel the effects of the pain meds that the Nurse had given her. 

The Nurse came back in and handed Red a plastic cup full of ice cubes. 

"Just give her one of these to suck on, she will feel a lot better," she explained. 

"Thank you so much." 

*****

Three days post transplant 

"And one more time Nicole. Breathe in," explained the Doctor as he pulled out the tube from the side of her neck. 

"There, you'll be more comfortable now." He presses the button on the side of the bed and her bed began to move up a little. The same Nurse that helped her the other day covered up her hole where the tube had been. 

Ten minutes after they left Lorna entered holding a basket of fruit. This was the first time they had seen each other since the transplant. Nicky let out a small chuckle. 

"What's with always bringing fruit?" She asked. Her voice was getting a little stronger and louder. 

"It's just a thing I like doing. Now shut up and give me a kiss." Lorna lent down and kissed Nicky on the lips. 

"How are you then?" asked Lorna. 

"A little better." 

"Well I think that when your feeling better and your all cleared to travel, I think we should go back to Bora Bora." 

"Hey, you said it right," said Nicky will a small smile on her face. Lorna laughed. 

******

Five days post transplant 

"Hey you," said Alex as she entered Nicky's hospital room. Nicky was sat in a comfortable arm chair beside her bed. She had convinced Red to go home to shower so it was just the two of them. 

"What's that?" Nicky asked. Alex was carrying a plastic box. 

"Oh Piper made it. I think it's fruit cake. She said she read that it was good for you or something. I kind of tuned out." Alex handed Nicky the box. Nicky took the lid of. 

"Well I'll give it too her, it smells good." 

"I'll make sure to tell her." Nicky began to laugh. 

"What?" questioned Alex. 

"Your like a proper domestic couple." 

"I'm just staying with her while my Mum is away." Soon they were both laughing. 

"So how are you?" asked Alex after they both stopped laughing. 

"Still a little sore but I feel better. I definitely have more energy than I have had in months." 

"Good. That's good." 

*****

Sixteen days post transplant 

"So if the test comes back and shows that your new heart is doing well then we will be able to release you. You'll still have to take it easy for a while though," explained the Doctor. Nicky nodded. 

Three hours later when the test came back Nicky was released. She was packing her hospital bag with Red. 

"And when you come back in a couple of days you'll get your PICC line and feeding tube removed," Red said excitedly. Nicky was relived when the Doctor had said that. 

"Are you ready?" asked Red as Nicky zipped up her bag. 

"Yep. I think so." 

"Then let's get you out of here." 

"For two days anyway." 

Back at Red's, Nicky sat at her kitchen table. 

"Chicken soup," announced Red as she brought in two bowels. She put one in front of Nicky and the other where she would be sitting. She then brought in a freshly baked loaf of bread and placed it down in the middle, with a bread knife next to it. She sat down at her space. 

"This is amazing," said Nicky as she ate a spoonful of the soup. 

"It's good to see you eating again. How are you feeling?" 

"Better then I have had in a long time." 

*****

Eighteen days post transplant 

Nicky slumped down on Red's sofa after her hospital appointment. 

"How does it feel to of had your PICC line and feeding tube out?" Red asked as she sat down next to Nicky, scrolling through the channels on the TV. 

"Good." 

"So what are you going to do now then?"

"What do you mean?" 

"I mean about college. It's not that far off." 

"I don't know." 

"Well you better start thinking."

"How would you feel if I just didn't go. I mean I don't have to." 

"Why don't you want to?" 

"I mean with everything that's been going on these last few years, I just want to not worry about anything. Maybe I could go next year." 

"Well it's your choice honey. Do you know what's Lorna's doing?" When Red asked this, it was the first time that Nicky realised they may not even be in the same state soon.


	15. Chapter 15

"Lorna, babe, you've got to calm down," pleaded Nicky. Lorna was sat, crossed legged on a hospital bed, Nicky was on a chair next to her with Lorna's Mother next to Nicky. Lorna was getting her tonsils removed. 

"I can't Nicky, I hate needles." 

"I have an idea," suggested the nurse who was attempting to insert an IV into Lorna's hand. She was the same Nurse that had helped Nicky recover from her heart transplant. Five months after her surgery, Nicky had been feeling great. She had more energy then she had, had in a long time. She was going in every two weeks for a checkup but so far everything seemed to be going well. 

"Go on," said Lorna's Mother, Stansie. 

"I understand that you are very comfortable with needles," the Nurse began, looking at Nicky. She nodded. 

"So why don't we insert the IV into you first so that Lorna can see that it's nothing to worry about." Nicky looked over at Lorna. 

"Would that help?" Lorna nodded, a little timidly. Nicky looked back at the Nurse. 

"Let's do that then."

The Nurse put the final bit of tape on Nicky's hand to secure the IV. 

"There see. It's really not that bad," explained the Nurse. 

"I guess," replied Lorna, still looking unsure.

"It's okay Lorna, I promise," soothed Nicky. Lorna grabbed hold of Nicky's free hand and held her other arm out for the Nurse. 

"There all done," said the Nurse a few minutes later. Lorna looked down at her hand. 

"That's definitely the worst part out of the way," explained Nicky. 

*****

As Lorna woke up after her surgery she tried to speak, soon realising her throat hurt too much to do so. Nicky was sat in the same chair, next to the bed. 

"Do you want some water?" asked Nicky. Lorna nodded her head, deciding not to try to talk again. Nicky reached over to the table next to the bed and handed Lorna the plastic cup of water. Lorna took a sip and winced. 

"Does it hurt to drink?" Lorna nodded her head again. Nicky took the cup back from Lorna and placed it back down where it came from. She then pressed the red button above the bed. 

"I'll get the Nurse to give you some more pain medication," explained Nicky to a confused looking Lorna. 

*****

"Another ice pop Madame," joked Nicky as she handed it over to Lorna who took it thankfully. The two were at Lorna's apartment which she shared with her Mother, Father, Brother, Sister, her Sisters's Husband and her Nephew. It was one week after Lorna's surgery and the two were sat on the sofa, with Nicky getting her ice pops whenever she wanted them, which was frequently. Lorna looked over at Nicky. 

"So I got into a college," she began. Nicky had decided not to go, instead wanting to find a job close to home. She felt as she had spent so long being ill, she just wanted to take some time to herself. 

"Wow, which one?" she asked, hoping it wouldn't be too far away. 

"The one in London." 

"What did you say?" 

"The one in London." Nicky couldn't believe what she was hearing. She knew that they were probably going to be in different states, but a different county was something Nicky really didn't like the sound of. 

"I didn't know you even applied to one in London."

"You know I did. I told you about it," Lorna tried to explain. 

"You told me you were looking at it, not that you applied." Nicky was beginning to loose her patience now. 

"It was the only one I got into Nicky." 

"What will happen to us?" Nicky's voice began to crack. 

"What do you mean?" Lorna asked. 

"We're going to be in different countries Lorna." 

"We will make it work Nicky, I promise. I love you and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. Remember that promise you made to me while we were in Bora Bora?" 

"Yeah." 

"I still want that Nicky." 

"Me too." 

*****

Three months later Lorna and Nicky were stood by a taxi that was waiting for Lorna to take her to the airport on her way to London. They had said goodbye to Alex and their other friends yesterday and while that was hard for Nicky, this was harder. 

"I can't believe your leaving," said Nicky. 

"I know but we can call and text all the time. And your coming to visit in two months so we have that to look forward to." Lorna was trying to stay positive. 

"It's just hard to think about that right now." Lorna hugged Nicky and they shared a passionate kiss. After a while, Lorna pulled away. 

"I should probably get going," she said. 

"Okay yeah." 

"I love you Nicky, we will make this work." 

"I love you too. So much." Lorna gave Nicky one last smile before she climbed into the back of the car. Nicky waved as the car drove away. She stayed there a while after the car went, wondering if they really could make things work.


	16. Chapter 16

"So how is it?" asked Nicky to Lorna through the phone. 

"It's so big, a lot bigger than our high school," she replied. 

"Have you made any friends?" 

"A few. I miss you Nicky."

"I miss you too Lorna, but we will see each other on Friday right?"

"Of course Nicky, I can't wait for you to come and visit. How are you by the way?" 

"I'm good. I went out for a run this morning," Before Nicky became too ill she used to love running however when her heart began to deteriorate she no longer went out as she didn't have the energy for it. 

"Oh wow Nicky, that's really good. Did you feel okay after?" 

"Fine, I feel really great Lorna, the best I have felt in a long time." 

"That's really great news Nicky. I have to go, I've got a class now. I'll see you on Friday." 

"Yeah, I'll see you then. I love you." 

"I love you too." 

Nicky put down the phone and sighed. She sat in her big empty house alone. Red had gone to Russia for two weeks to visit her sons, Marka was away again, Lorna was in a different country and Alex and her other friends were spread all over the world. Part of Nicky wished she had gone to college, she felt left out. Three days, she thought, three days until she could see her Lorna again.

*****

Nicky looked at the college in front her her with a hint of intimidation flowing through he body. It was bigger than she could imagine. She noticed by a big oak tree a bench and she decided to sit on it while she waited for Lorna. Her thoughts began to drift to Lorna once again. She missed her more than she could ever imagine, although they spoke on the phone almost every night, Nicky missed being able to touch her. 

"Hey stranger," said a familiar voice from behind, pulling Nicky from her thoughts. Nicky looked at Lorna. In Nicky's mind she looked even more beautiful than she remembered. She stood up and embraced Lorna in a warm hug. Lorna kissed her on the temple before pulling away slightly in order to get a better look at Nicky.

"I missed you Nicky," she murmured in her ear softly. 

"I missed you too." 

"Do you want me to give you a tour?" Lorna asked, her voice a little lighter. 

"Show me the way," replied Nicky. 

*****

After three hours of being shown around the whole place Lorna finally took Nicky to a coffee shop, on campus. They spoke about each other's lives for a bit until a mans voice interrupted them. 

"Oh Vinny sit down," Lorna invited. He sat down on the chair the other side of Lorna. 

"Nicky this is Vinny, my friend and Vinny this is Nicky, my girlfriend." 

"It's good to meet you Nicky," Vinny said as he stuck out his hand. Nicky took it and half heartedly shook it. 

Nicky watched as Lorna and Vinny spoke. Nicky couldn't help but feel a little left out. When Vinny said he had to go Nicky felt an instant rush of relief. 

"I better go too," said Lorna. Nicky looked up at her in shock. 

"What do you mean?" 

"I have to get to class." Before Nicky could reply, Lorna had stood up and was rushing after Vinny. Just like how Nicky had watched then talk, she watched as Vinny put his arm around Lorna and pulled her in for a side hug. 

*****

Two times. That's how many times Lorna had blown her off since Nicky was back home. Apparently she has to study with Vinny. Nicky couldn't help but feel a small amount of jealousy.

"Why the long face?" asked Red as she walked into the living area. Nicky looked up at her. 

"Lorna can't come this weekend, again." 

"I'm sure she's just really busy," Red replied, sympathetically. 

"She seems it." 

"Is she still coming next month though?" 

"At the moment, although she'll probably pull out of that." 

"Don't think negatively Nicky." 

The problem was Nicky couldn't help but thing negatively. Whenever the two spoke Nicky had a feeling something was wrong and she didn't dare think about what it could be. 

*****

Now on her fourth cup of coffee, Nicky was beginning to wonder wether Lorna would be a no show again. Just as she was starting to loose hope the bell to the cafe chimed and in walked the girl that Nicky was hopelessly in love with. 

She sprung up from her chair and embraced the girl tightly, kissing her lovingly on the head. Nicky could feel Lorna's heart beating rapidly. She chose to ignore it. They sat back down and made small talk for a while. Nicky could sense something was off in the air, but chose to ignore it one again. A waitress came over and gave Lorna a mug full of steaming coffee and asked Nicky if she would like a refill. She kindly declined. She knew that she had to say something, and she had to do it now. 

"Hey Lorna, is everything okay?" she asked nervously. 

"Of course," Lorna lied. Nicky knew when Lorna was lying, and she knew that, that was what was happening right now. 

"Oh come on. I can tell you are lying. Just tell me the truth." Lorna nodded and took a moment to mentally prepare herself for what was about to come out. She hated to break the red head's heart, but she couldn't keep it in any longer. 

"I slept with Vinny," she finally stated. Nicky scoffed softly. She suspected that Lorna might say something like that but hoped she wouldn't. She noticed Lorna was twiddling her thumbs, a habit she would often do when she was nervous. 

"I figured something like that had happened," Nicky replied after what had felt like forever. 

"How?" 

"You would never text me back, answer my calls and after you bailed on me last month. I know you have a guilty conscience." 

"I'm so sorry Nicky." 

"What I want to know now is, where does this leave us?" 

"What do mean?" 

"You know what I mean Lorna. What happens next? Do I stand a chance against him?" A salty tear tricked down Lorna's face. Nicky also wanted to cry, but knew she had to stay strong. There was a long pause before Lorna replied. 

"I don't know Nicky. You know I love you but he's fresh, new." 

"So I'm old and boring?" Nicky assumed. 

"No that's not what I meant," Lorna said hurriedly, placing her hand on top of Nicky's. 

"I don't think this whole long distance thing is going to work." 

"I knew I was stupid to think we stood a chance. So is this it then?" Although Lorna didn't confirm it, Nicky knew the answer was yes. She moved her hand away from Lorna's. 

"I love you so much Lorna. I always will. I want you to be happy and if that's not with me then I will have to learn how to live with that," she said getting up from the table. She placed three notes next to her half drunk, now cold cup of coffee. 

"For the drinks," she muttered, before she turned to walk away. Suddenly she stopped and looked back over at Lorna. 

"I will always love you Lorna, no matter what. I hope your life is everything you want it to be and I  hope you can find someone who loves you as much as I do." And with that she turned around and left the cafe, leaving her true love behind and never looking back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was the final chapter. I’ll post the sequel soon. Please comment and let me know what you thought. Thanks!


End file.
